i'm a hustler babe...maybe?

last week an uninvited guest arrived.

this guest arrives every month like clock work.

each time the guest arrives she? brings unwelcome cravings and emotions.

salty. sweet. salty. sweet. and this time the need for a pepsi everyday came along too.

so what do i do in my jacked up emotional state?

i give in to the stupid cravings and go thru the drive thru everyday for a Pepsi or a COKE.

on wednesday we went to taco bell and i wish i could tell you that this song had just come on the radio and i was just about to change it because no sane person would allow their child to listen to it even if it was the clean version but it didn't. i deliberately downloaded it on iTunes and deliberately put it on my iPod and deliberately played it in my car....when the taco bell dude opened his window leans my way to hand me our drinks hears the song and says, "oh thats my sh*t"
my face went white um hello my kids are in the back seat dude
then it registered. i'm no better. what the heck. i'm letting my kids listen to this sh*t. OhEmGee!!!

on saturday pronounced saturdy. my oldest and i went to sonic. happy hour. happy check book.
am i right?
i pull up and sonic dude says, "ooh i like your scarf it makes you look pimp"

what the heck???
i'm not a pimp!
and i will have you know this time i was listening to ingrid michaelson.  def. not pimp music.

but
i started thinking...
am i a pimp. a hustler. i don't know. i was listening to rap and wearing a bandana on my head.
(i was thinking more rockabilly when i put the bandana on...) i surely don't want to fool you into thinking that i am this great amazing christian when behind closed door i am allowing my children to listen to rap. Uh No! i want to be the girl that is what you see is what you get inside and out. one who love the Lord like CRAZY who is thankful for his awesomeness and blessing and faithfulness each and every day so...
here's the thing
i want to glorify God in everything that i do and if i'm getting what feels to me like negative comments maybe i need to look inside and make a change. to be renewed. more literally Anakainosis. change sometimes is hard but oh so Good.

are you taking part in she reads truth?
 Living The Surrendered Life was ahhhmazing
these are the things that have smacked me in the face over the last week.

wed. july 4. day 14. if you can't say anything nice don't say anything AT ALL.

fri. july 6. day 16.  keep your heart right and treasure the word of GOD.

sun. july 8. day 18. guilt paralyzes. conviction motivates.

needless to say I AM CONVICTED.


i am seriously loving this study. a new one starts tomorrow (thursday). go here and join the party. it's worth it i promise.

but in the mean time i will blame my unwelcome guest for my destruction.
                                                ( fri june 29. day 9. DO NOT BLAME if you fall into sin OWN IT) 
                                                                                                                CONVICTION
                                                                                                               i really don't like that monthly guest.

i will not become paralyzed with guilt. nope. each day is new. and today is a good day to make some changes.

so bye-bye huslter. i don't want to outsmart people and make them think i am something i am not. i really do love Jesus and i want it to show in all of my actions. :)

thank you Jesus for enlightening me over the week. 

i needed it.

“Wherever your treasure is, 

there the desires of your heart will also be.”

Matthew 6:21


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