my cup.

i have a confession.
my whole life i have been a cup half empty type of gal. i have always played the woe is me card. this is a fact about me that i am not proud of. 

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about two years ago i decided i needed to change. i had just turned 29. 29. i started to panic. i was not who i thought i would be at 29. heck i never thought i would be 29. i decided it was time to take an active approach and change all the things i didn't like about me. problem was i focused on the outside, not the inside. cause you know if you aren't pretty outside you wont be pretty inside. *rolling my eyes at my stupidity*


i started working out and eating better and lost 18 lbs. i was getting compliments on how good i was looking. and of course i 
ate.it.up.


later that year my husband had to go out of town on business for two months. i was not happy about this and fell apart. i stopped exercising and reverted to my old ways of woe is me. and guess what gained all of the weight plus an extra 10 lbs back over the course of a year. who does that. oh yes...ME!


last year i realized that i still wasn't all that happy. and why not? i am tremendously blessed. i am living the american dream. i am a christian...why wasn't i happy.


here is what it came down to.
i could talk a big game about the lord. but i wasn't actively pursuing a relationship with him. of course i would fall down on my knees when things weren't going my way, but how about the day to day. we prayed with our children everyday, but i was doing it because it was part of the routine not because i wanted to. shameful i know. 


over the last year i have been trying (i saying trying because of course there are days that i fail) to actively pursue a relationship with christ. becuase you really can't have a half full cup without him. i want my cup to remain half full for the rest of my life.

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 the other day while reading my bible i came across this:

 "What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence!  You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, also."  

Matthew 23: 25-26

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this rocked my world. i haven't been able to get it out of my head, nor do i want to. pretty much says it all for me. 


this is how i interpret it. if you are actively pursuing a relationship with the Lord by whole heartedly following the commandments, reading and living in the word, praying and giving thanks, that when we open our mouths love and kindness will pour forth. we will sparkle and shine without even knowing it.
if we are doing it out of routine or because we want to "look good" in front of others inside we will be a hot mess. 


are you actively pursuing a relationship with the Lord?


here's to our cups shining for all to see and when we do fail that we get right back in to the pursuit with the quickness.

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happy tuesday my friends!